I don’t mean like when you ask a question on here (cause you’re asking for it). I mean like when friends and family feel the need to make suggestions either based on something they see you doing or their own experience. How does that make you feel? Would you prefer if people didn’t offer their opinions unless you ask for them? Just wondering…thanks!
My stepdaughter is 7 years old and for the last three years I’ve been the primary caregiver in her life. Her father works a lot but he’s very involved in her activities (Girl Scouts, school, etc.). Her mother on the other hand has next to nothing to do with her. When I first came in to my stepdaughter’s life she saw her mom perhaps every other weekend. The mom would have her own mother pick up my stepdaughter for the weekend and then she’d get to hang out with her mom for perhaps an hour before she was dumped on whatever relative was easiest to leave her with. Two summers ago my stepdaughter’s bio mom decided to move with her mom to another state to finish college. According to the custody agreement my husband and I have her during the school year, she has her during the summer and we trade Christmases and Spring Breaks. She had her for Christmas of 2008 and was supposed to have her for Spring Break this school year. However last summer she didn’t take my stepdaughter because she wanted to travel abroad, then she didn’t take her for Spring Break this year because she didn’t think a week was worth the money it would take to get her there. So it’s been over a year since my stepdaughter has seen her mom (the last time she saw her was in January of 2009).
Anyway, my stepdaughter’s maternal grandmother and her new husband are coming down this weekend to pick my stepdaughter up to take her back for the summer (her mom isn’t coming with them). I’m so depressed by the whole thing. How do people cope with sending their children away for the summer? When we sent her for that one Christmas it was hard, but doable, but we’re talking ten weeks this time.
I’m worried about what her mom will do. In the past she has always done just the minimum. She’d hang out for an hour then say that my stepdaughter was too much for her to handle and dump her on whoever was available. She’s been making all these promises to do things with my stepdaughter that I don’t think she’ll keep because she’s a really lazy person and would rather sit at home on the couch than do something that a child thinks is fun. I know there’s nothing I can do to prevent her from going. I just find myself crying all the time because I’m going to miss her like crazy. She’s such a sweet kid, and really isn’t a difficult child at all. I don’t know why her mom doesn’t want to have more to do with her, but I’m really worried that she’s going to ignore her all summer and pawn her off on Grandma and that my stepdaughter is going to be miserable. How do you handle this? I don’t want my stepdaughter to see how sad I am that she’s going.
I was talking with a 13 year old yesterday, who’s parent is NOT a Christian. I gave them some advice, and I think it was appropriate advice. I told them the verses in the bible that talk about obeying your parents, and honor your mother and father, are commands but that is also assuming that most of the time a parent is not going to make their child do something that goes against God’s word. But, if your parent is telling you to do something that is clearly against God’s word (Don’t get baptized, killing, stealing, etc) In this situation it is clearly ok to do what God would want you to do!!! It’s important to obey your parents, but obeying God’ comes first!!!
I am a young 18 year old expecting mother. the baby’s father is overseas based in okinawa. it is hard not to have the support of him being here as my teammate through the pregnancy. any advice from parents who have been through this situation, or similar?
I was originally going to place my son for adoption but now I can’t. I never told anyone because I didn’t want them influencing my deciding. Now however have to tell them I had a baby? Please I need advice, no harsh comments please. I’m 20 and have always been the perfect daughter. What do I do now ¿?
I’m 18 and my mom and i have a pretty decent relationship. We’ve hit some major rocky points at one time or another but always manage to move on and deal.Recently I’ve had a curfew change which I can deal with and really don’t mind.
Im supossed to call her anytime I leave somewhere that I said I would be, so I do. Well today I was at one place all day so I didn’t call her. I told her where I was going before I left and stayed there all day. Next thing I know I get a call and Im being bitched out by her for not calling. Its like I’ve been here all day, so I didn’t call. I see her point in why I should’ve "checked in", but now because of this, she’s gonna change my curfew and probably yell at me in the morning.
QUESTION: How do I deal with a way over protective mother? I’m 18, Im a good kid and don’t get introuble. Feel free to email me if you’d like. Im really sick of dealing with this b.s. and dunno what to do. Thank you.
Btw, she doesnt listen or negotiate well. Its either her way or no way.
I dont live in a bad area either lol I seriously live in a small hicktown where nothin bad ever happens
well theres this guy ive been tlkin to for almost 4 yrs nd he just ask me out to a date to the movies but his 18 nd im 16..ive been good i have good grades nd he is a good guy too he has a license hes honest nd respectful..im scared to ask my mom whats a good way to ask nd convince her to let me go out? help!
I have an (almost 
year old boy. At times, he’s a handful. I fully admit that. I’m not in denial even the least little bit. I went to parent/teacher conferences yesterday and, for the 3rd time, the teacher mentioned having him put on mediaction. I am not interested in that because I simply believe he’s not a candidate for that. He makes all A’s. He’s in the top of his class. He’s not like a child genious or anything, but he’s like a sponge in the way he absorbs information! His teacher actually told me she’s going to have him put in the GT (gifted & talented ) program.
THe reason I believe he’s not in need of Ridalin (spelling??) is because he most certainly CAN be controlled. He’s very capable of sitting still for hours at a time, and he CAN keep his thoughts/ comments to himself.
The teacher says his main problem is talking out of turn & a constant non-stop yacking. I think he stays on her nerves most of the day, but I cannot justify putting him on medication just because he likes to talk.
So, can someone who has a child in this position please explain to me what the signs/symptoms are of a child who is, or needs to be medicated? I may be wrong and if I am, I’m wanting to do plenty of research.
*edited to add*…..
And please know that I’m not asking this question in a judgemental or snarky tone. It’s just a question. I would hate to offend anyone. I know he has a problem w/ keeping his mouth shut and I know he’s not a "mild" kid. He is on the hyper side, but in my opinion, he’s not any more hyper than any of the other boys in his class. And, yes, I do know, I’ve subbed for the teacher before.
wow, thanks for the overwhelming resonses so far. And thanks for the compliments.
Just to be a little more clear. I know she can’t put him on ritalin. She was suggesting that a lot of parents would have already put their kid on ritalin if they had acted the way my son acts. This was yesterday and the 3rd time. The first 2 times she just mentioned it to see how I would react. She has been a teacher for more years than I’ve been alive and I’m 28 years old.
She just says she gets frusterated at him because she tells him over and over again to stop talking and leave the other kids alone. ‘
My son says that he gets done with all his work earlier than a lot of the other kids, so the fact that he’s probably bored makes a whole lot of sense.
My parents keep saying i am pushing them away but i am just giving them space and i don’tt want them to blow off whatever anger they have on me. Like my dad, he wasn’t working for 5 years and never involved with anything i did for the school , he suddenly starts to say i am an idiot ,I was 11 and just started high school and my mother and I had to deal with this. My mother acts like a servant to him and pisses me off. He also has issues with his parents death, i dont know if he resolved them. Now after the five years, he suddenly wants to be a good parent and i kind off keep him at a distance. Because i believe that people dont change and if you know what you are doing is wrong why do it in the first place. Please someone tell me if i am wrong or right to keep him at a distance
We are relatively new foster parents who have only had one placement so far (7 months and on going). We were chosen as adoptive parents for a toddler sibling group which is just what we want but now I’m so scared about what it will be like with 3 little ones and how can we possibly get these kids who we don’t know and who don’t know us to be like family. We haven’t met them yet so it is hard to even imagine.
Any foster or adoptive parents of non newborns, do you have any advice?
I’m thinking it is important to remember that we are the adults and we are guiding these children so we need to act like the adults, not like we don’t know what we are doing.