im an A* student, & i have been predicted 8 A*’s in my gcse’s which i will be sitting in may this year. i work hard at school and try to achieve to make them happy. yet, theyre never satisfied. theyre constantly engrossed in my brothers achievements and i never get so much as a well done. I also try to help around the house, and im always offering to do odd jobs just to make them appreciate me a bit more, but it seems the more i do, the more further they get from me. im scared that in a few years time, i will lose contact with my brother, mum & dad if we carry on like this ..please don’t tell me to discuss it with them, because it isn’t that easy, it’s just something i can’t do .
But all isn’t bad, i have some amazing friends who try and help me lots. Im very thankful to them all for being there, but none of them actually understand as they go home to such loving families. please help

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My just turned 6yo son said to me yesterday…. Mummy why do you say penis when its a doodle? so i explained to him that there are many names but the correct word is penis…. So while on the topic i thought i might have our first little talk so i said to him "Do you know the correct name of a girls parts?" he said yes its a Vagina… i was a little shocked but ok with it cause we have not had this talk before with him….

He then said to me "That’s where babies come out of the mummy" i said how do you know that and he said that one of the girls in his class told his teacher that babies come out of a little hole in the vagina. So his teacher sat down and told his class that when a man marries a women they will "make love" and have a baby then the baby grows inside eggs in the mummy’s belly then when the baby has finished growing then the baby pushes down really hard and comes out of the mummy’s vagina…. Then he said she told them how a mummy’s vagina can open really big to let the baby out…..

Now i know none of what she told them was wrong but i dont think a teacher should be telling a class of 20 kindergarten kids about these things… My husband and i were looking forward to this talk with our son and we would have been very age appropriate as we need to be…. We spoke about this with his older brother…. His 10yo brother knows everything he needs to know about sex and how babies are made but we told him in stages when we thought he was ready and even now we continue to make sure he remembers everything and we wanted to tell our younger son by the same method when he is ready plus we dont believe in telling our children that you need to be married to have sex or have children, because you can still have sex and get a girl pregnant without marriage and dont want our kids learning different than that.

Do you think his teacher is wrong here, should she have told the kids because i thought she should have sent them home to ask us… i feel like she has taken something away that i wont have the chance to do again… plus i wasnt ready for him to know just yet am i wrong for feeling this way? what are your thoughts? i dont know whether to confront her because she is a wonderful teacher who also taught my eldest in kindy but i feel really ROBBED….
I know this is the wrong area but i wanted genuine opinions of married people and parents alike…
@kira- we would have spoke to him soon about some things but then take it up in levels as he gets older, we started talking to our eldest when he was 7 and its a graduale process, not all at 10yo. so we kept ahead of the curve so to speak…..

@Linda G- funny you say that because she has no kids but she has been a kindergarten teacher for a long time, she is about 55yo i think
@Art – we have always answered any questions they have asked us, we believe in telling them when they are ready or need to know, so if they are asking questions we answer, we began telling him before he asked questions then he began to ask questions as time went by to which we have always answered…..
@Trixilicious – i am not a troll i am asking a genuine question…. This was my Husbands account before mine so maybe get your facts right before slinging up stuff you know nothing of…

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My just turned 6yo son said to me yesterday…. Mummy why do you say penis when its a doodle? so i explained to him that there are many names but the correct word is penis…. So while on the topic i said to him "Do you know the correct name of a girls parts?" he said yes its a Vagina… i was a little shocked but ok with it cause we have not had this talk before with him….

He then said to me "Thats where babies come out of the mummy" i said how do you know that and he said that one of the girls in his class told his teacher that babies come out of a little hole in the vagina. So his teacher sat down and told his class how when a man marries a women they will make love and have a baby then the baby grows inside eggs in the mummy’s belly then when the baby has finished growing then the baby pushes down really hard and comes out of the mummy’s vagina…. Then he said she told them how a mummy’s vagina can open really big to let the baby out…..

Now i know none of what she told them was wrong but i dont think a teacher should be telling a class of 20 kindergarten kids about these things… My husband and i were looking forward to this talk with our son and we would have been very age appropriate as we need to be…. We spoke about this with his older brother…. His 10yo brother nows everything he needs to know about sex and how babies are made and i wanted to tell our younger son as well when he was ready…

Do you think his teacher is wrong here, should she have told the kids because i thought she should have sent them home to ask us… i feel like she has taken something away that i wont have the chance to do again… plus i wasnt ready for him to know just yet am i wrong for feeling this way? what are your thoughts? i dont know whether to confront her because she is a wonderful teacher who also taught my eldest in kindy but i feel really ROBBED….
@Melyssa – i agree with teaching them periodically as this is what we did with our eldest…. now he knows all he needs to know… but we still discuss these things with him occassionally to make sure he hasnt forgot plus to re-inforce what he already knows…. sure i know my 6yo will not be scarred or anything but i was not ready to start discussing in that much detail yet and i dont think its anyones right to but mine….

@everyone who doesnt like the saying "Kindy" that is actually the class name at the school and is commonly used as the name for kindergarten in Australia…. dont know about everywhere else…. My son is in class Kindy green, thats the name and there is also Kindy yellow

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Can you force an older child who is so self-absorbed to show any attention or love to a younger child? My husband’s oldest daughter who is 11 hasn’t so much acknowledged her almost 2 year old brother and it has been like this since the day we brought him home from the hospital. We also have 2 six year old daughters (one is mine and one is his) that the oldest has completely turned into her slaves. She manipulates them on a day-to-day basis even with us constantly scolding her not to do so. She has began to lie to us, and become physical to her younger siblings when we are not looking. Is there anything we can do? We try so hard to spend one on one time with each of the kids and try to give them the attention that they need, but what else can we do?

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I grew up in a small country town in Texas, and it wasn’t until I was in my 20′s that I realized that not all children were raised like how me and my brother, and my friends were raised. I guess you could say I grew up sheltered but I was actually in shock to discover that not all people believed as my family and my friends families believed. Here is how I was raised:
I hardly ever disrespected my parents. If I did, I was grounded.
We went to church on Sundays, I went to Sunday school and Bible study on Wednesday. I went to church camp and I babysat for our preacher. Drinking and smoking were not allowed. If you did do that, you had better hope to heck that you didn’t get caught. If an unmarried girl got pregnant, she and the father got married. Even if they divorced later on, the child would not be labled a bastard.The elderly people in the community were respected. I did not cause trouble at school. Abortion, child abuse, spouse abuse, promiscuity and drugs were horrible.
I do live in a small country town in Texas now, though not the same one, and it is the same way. I guess I was nieve in believing that everyone was raised this way, but I honestly didn’t know anything about drugs, Athiests, child abuse or unmarried teens having kids. I find all that really sad and I will not raise my kids any other way than how my brother and I were raised.
I will teach my children Christianity because, regardless of what others may believe, I believe that it is my job as a mother and a Christian to lead my children to God. I don’t want to be responsible for my children not becoming Christians. I love my parents that they lead me that way.

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I am a 23 yer old college student with a 5 year old child and I live at home.

I would really like to finish up my studies in another state (I have 2 more years left) so that I can get out of my current state of Massachusetts.

Since my major is in Journalism (Broadcast) I figured it would be good to move to either New York or California.

I had my eyes set on New York (it’s close to home and it’s the media capital of the nation) but I’ve heard from many people that the place is too expensive to live and not a great place to raise children. But come on, I know that there must be some happy, smart kids who live in New York and that every place has its bad parts and good parts and I just want to try New York out.

I don’t want to live and die in MAssachusetts without ever having left Masschusetts. I am 23 and the farthest place I ever traveled was to Oxford, Massachusetts.

What should I do? Any advice? I would love to move to New York but I don’t want to do it just for me. I don’t want to overlook my child. I think she is the type of child that can adapt.

I’ll work 40 hours or more and pick out a good kindergarten for her, and if things get too hectic, I always have my mother and brother there.

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I need help sorting out my parents relationship with me and my wife.?
My mother fell out with my wifes parents a long time ago over a situation where she was well out of order. but she expected me to chose between her or my wife. I stood by my wife and so she never came to our wedding and very rarely contacts us or aknowledges our baby at any time other than Christmas.
My father and step mum have also fallen out with us over a whole load of petty things that they have been stewing over for ages. We forgot a birthday, had to ask them to look after our dog at very short notice when my wifes nan fell ill. (we were staying in a hotel and asked if they would mind looking after our dog an extra day so we could stay an extra day at the hotel but they said no) we bought some stuff off them and then my wife found out that they had made a small profit on it, they only live 5 miles away from us but rarely pop over to see us or our new baby which we could have done with after my wife gave birth as she had a very hard labour, they felt that her parents were there too much and they dont like them. All petty stuff really. Anyway, my dad would visit on the odd occasion and just go on about how my mum left him 5 years ago for another man and that my brother hates me for what happened to my mother.
My wife basicly had had enough of the grief we were getting and had been getting eversince we got engaged…my dad thought we got engaged when we did because he was away and it meant my mum could come and celebrate with us (she basicly invited herself), I got an award at work where my parents could come to the ceremony, my dad wouldnt come if my mum was coming, my dad and step mum felt we got married too early and had a baby too early, my mum refused to come to our wedding after the argument with my wifes parents and I’d stood by my wife, my brother and I own a house together and he kept taking the house account overdrawn and I had to keep bailing him out and he hasnt ever aknowledged our baby or seen him because of the situation with my mother. My dad wont go and see my brother because he wants to be invited and wont just turn up. My brothers been driven to a breakdown because of the stress with our family and he’s given up his job.
My wife hates my family because of all this **** and so one evening when my dad and step mum came over, there was an awkward atmosphere and the next day I got a phone call at work from my step mum wanting to know what was up. I just played it down at first but then she emailed my wife and bollocked her so my wife replied then she got another email and now my wife wont entertain visiting my dad and step mum or letting our little boy anywhere near my step mum. She gets so upset if I say I’m going to as when ever I do i have to just sit there and listen to how bad we’ve been, how it’s all our fault, that my wife is behaving like my mother, that we’ve caused so much upset and when I get home I just feel like I want to run away from everyone and never come back and I’m bloody 32 years old! We havent seen my dad since November and while I really want to see him because he is my dad, because of how upset my wife gets and the fact that I dont want to sit there and listen to them slagging me and my wife off, I havent. Therefore I keep getting emails about how I need to get my priorities sorted and stand up to my wife and go round and see them. An email which my wife read before I knew about it as she was checking my emails for me while i was away. Now she feels even stronger hate towards my step mum for sending it. This is so complicated and long!!! I know it’s my responsibility to stand by my wife and I have and will but God it’s being made so hard.

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I feel guilty about not seeing them and get emails from them saying how much I’ve hurt them and that they wont contact us again. I want to see them but I know that when I go over, I will just get loads of crap and be left feeling that I dont want to go over again. I’m not sure what to say to them to try to sort this out while not upsetting my wife.

Best Answer so far –
Funny how you keep saying that you should stand by your wife, but has it occurred to you that your wife should stand by you as well?

From the looks of it, many small petty things have got in the way of a possibly amiable relationship. Now the big step is for you, the bridge, to do some linking. Have a chat with your wife and let her know how you value your father and wish you spend time with him. Assure her that you’ll have a talk to your father and step-mother as well, so that she won’t feel it’s just one-sided.

Of course, the next step is to talk to your father and step-mother. Let them know how trapped in the middle you are and you’re seeking their bigheartedness to let go of past misunderstandings and grudges and start anew with your wife. Your step-mother should stop emailing to your wife. Let YOU be the liaison until she can allow herself to communicate

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Basically, they’re completely inappropriate in my eyes. I grew up in a conservative household where I was taught to respect my elders and be polite to everyone; however, my husband was brought up very different. Neither of us fit in with them, but we are nervous when we have kids. I don’t even think I would trust his dad or brother to hold our baby, much less play with him or her. I don’t even see how I could leave our baby over there, seeing as how they smoke IN the house and it smells awful. How in the world are we supposed to manage this? I don’t want our baby developing asthma or picking up on curse words. It’s just not a great environment over there. And I can’t ask people to change. How do I handle this?
The reason I said I’m nervous about them holding a baby is because they’re rough with the little dog that they have and when we take our little dogs over there, they play too rough. They make the dog do back flips, hold them down to cut the hair inbetween their eyes, and grab them hard on the back to make them growl and attack each other. (That happened once before I interfered). I know it sounds silly but I don’t feel like I can say anything. I’ve seen them with babies and they aren’t the most careful people. My husband’s brother is very rough and his parents let him do whatever he wants. He’s 20 so it’s not like I can really do much.
I mean, I’m not crazy. I know our kids will eventually be exposed to life and I can’t protect them forever, but with motherly instincts already, I want to keep my baby safe. Cigarette smoke is harmful and handling the baby rough can be harmful. I don’t think I could trust them alone with my baby. The cussing is definitely something that I will just have to explain to our children and tell them they are not allowed to say those words. I will obviously let our kids be a part of their lives, but I don’t see how the relationship could continue unsupervised. I guess you have to cross those bridges when you get there.

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Hello, my boyfriend and I have been together now for about 4 months and things are progressing very well between us. Despite minor disagreements we havent had anything major happen. Most of our disagreements spark because he is a moody person. I also know he had a very unstable mother and he and his brother were raised in a foster home due to the abuse his mother inflicted on them. He said eventually sometime around his preteen years he went to live with his grandparents which is where he stayed until he went to college and ventured out on his own. Now, he does have somewhat of a relationship with his birth mother but its more like a friend relationship than the typical parent child relationship.

Moving forward, we discussed his moodiness and he told me that sometimes he just gets into these moods where he feels depressed. And he told me when he was around 17 it got so bad that he attempted suicide and was hospitalized but went to counseling and has put that behind him. However, we had another discussion where he told me he was dating someone for about 6 months or so a few months prior to meeting me and apparently she deceived him in some kind of way which prompted them to break up and because of the feeling of being rejected and deceived by her he attempted suicide a second time.He had another stay in the hospital and then some more counseling and again he said he put that behind him. We discussed all of this and I tried to get him to talk about his feelings which he did to a certain point but I know there is a whole lot more underneath the surface.

I told him the best thing he needs to do is seek counseling and stuck with it until he has figured out what sets off these moods of depressed. And I told him he needs to get help with dealing with and understanding his feelings and emotions. He agrees with me one hundred percent but hes very hesitant about going back to counseling for some reason. I offered to go with him and tried to reassure him that I would be with him every step of the way for as long as I can, you know for moral support since I know there really isnt anything else I can do…

But, my question is… honestly can I do that? Is this way too much too soon in our relationship? I mean everyone has baggage of some kind… but multiple attempts at suicide and unresolved issues from childhood… like can we really make it together? I love being with him and he’s so good to me, my family and friends all love him and like I said outside of his moodiness, we dont have any problems between us. We see each other almost every day but honestly Im a little nervous about what the future may bring. I know things are good now but what happens if we do have a major fight?

We’ve discussed marriage and children and not like right now but maybe within the next 2 years or so all depending on how life deals the cards out. Hes 31 and Im 27… please tell me if I am crazy for even wanting to continue this relationship. Thank you
Okay we’ve discussed marriage and children before I know about all this other stuff

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My parents took me and my brother to presbyterian church for like 7 years. I believed in god and jesus. After a while we stopped going. Now my brother is atheist and im agnostic. I’m glad my parents let me choose my own religion and didn’t force me to believe in god and other things like that. How do you guys feel about this?

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