My SIL tried to tell me how to parent the other day and I had a very hard time taking it because her child who is only a year younger than my son, is over all horrible. She is a very cute little girl and I think she truly means well but is just terrible she pulls children around around makes them fall and uncomfortable by being to clingy and touchy and Ive always tried to be very tolerable of her as to not upset my in laws and let them handle it (which usually they will say something to her). But obviously saying something to her isnt working if it happens all the time. Also on a trip she threw gravel at me my son and other bystanders and they really didnt do anything about it. So I get soooooo angry when she try to tell me what to do with my son who is very well behaved and only needs to be told once if he is doing something he shouldn’t be (Now please dont take that statement about my son as me being cocky about my parenting skills cause trust me it wasn’t I who taught him how to behave so well most of his life so far I was a single mother working 2 jobs and going to school full time…so where he got it I dont know cause he has been bounced between daycare sitters and grandparents sooooo much I would have thought he would be more prone to acting out but for some reason he doesn’t).

Anyway enough back story my plan do to other issues I am encounter with this particular in law is to just have my son and I avoid seeing them. This isn’t very difficult as we don’t see them a whole lot. Does this sound like a plan, is there a better one im not thinking of?

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I didn’t really know how to word this question. But I was wondering how the love changed from looking at a child, to that child being your own. I am pregnant and I absolutely love babies and toddlers. But once they get into elementary school and middle school I don’t know if I can handle them anymore because my tolerance is low and I’m just not a kid person.

I’m 18 (which I consider MYSELF a kid still) and am seriously concerned about raising a child. Family means everything to me and I know I would get through it because I will always put my child first. But lately I’ve had second thoughts about putting it up for adoption even though my mother said she would raise it if needed. But i’d rather have it go to a loving normal family than being raised by grandparents.

I know it’s my decision, but any advice or wisdom you could shed on me? I’m not ready to make the decision, and just need as much guidance as I can get :/

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Hi,

I am with this boy, and let me start off by saying that I have my challenges- this plays a part in this story. I am a physically handicapped teenager who is 16. I was born with a disability called Cerebral Palsy- I can’t walk.

Secondly, the relationship I have with this boy is approved by absolutely no one. My circumstances, are more common than I may think, but to me they just stand out. I live with my two elderly grandparents.(66 years old). My grandfather has heart disease and is a diabetic. My biological parents are divorced, my Dad is out of state for work. He has a girlfriend and they have a son on the way, and I am very happy for him. It seems at times that life isn’t always fair for my grandparents. As Thanksgiving approaches, I am very thankful for them, and for my family.

However, this boy and I are teenagers. We met when I was 7. He’s 15. At age 12 he made the mistake of putting his hands on me out of frustration, and trust me, he learned his lesson rather fast. We haven’t done things in the past that prove responsibility, but we’re teens right? Bound to screw up with some things. Once, we got caught kissing on the front porch. My Dad was rather frustrated, he drove to my house, but he can’t punish his little girl. I ended up getting a new cell out of it all and a lecture.

Recently, I’ve had trouble in school with some issues that I’d rather not go into. I was confiding in this boy about it for a very long time, and not telling my family because I feel as if I can’t talk to my grandparents because they have a lot on their plate. However, in the process of dealing with this issue something arose where my text messages needed read, and the texts from him were found.

All we talked about was making out and about how much we love each other- but at that time I was in a really vulnerable spot, and I was reaching out to him, so of course I wanted to hear an "I love you." or two. I admit, I was wrong. I apologized. But, now I’m not allowed to text him until further notice, and neither he or I think it’s fair, and we think my grandparents are overeating. My grandmother is persistent, and consist, on insisting we are not "together" when we have been for a little over a month now, and we’re going to be.

The bond hasn’t been something that has developed overnight though- he was there when my Dad took ill with cancer, and when my parents were going through their own struggles. We really love each other A LOT, and no one seems to see that? How can we help them realize that our love is true, and that I should be allowed to text him? I mean I know everyday the choices I make tell what I am and who, but when do you draw the line? I am an honor’s student with great and well maintained grades.

Shouldn’t I be allowed a little freedom?
Belle
Please excuse my spelling and grammar errors, I hope that they’re not too bad.
My Dad doesn’t wanna get in the middle because he doesn’t live with me.

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Hello, my boyfriend and I have been together now for about 4 months and things are progressing very well between us. Despite minor disagreements we havent had anything major happen. Most of our disagreements spark because he is a moody person. I also know he had a very unstable mother and he and his brother were raised in a foster home due to the abuse his mother inflicted on them. He said eventually sometime around his preteen years he went to live with his grandparents which is where he stayed until he went to college and ventured out on his own. Now, he does have somewhat of a relationship with his birth mother but its more like a friend relationship than the typical parent child relationship.

Moving forward, we discussed his moodiness and he told me that sometimes he just gets into these moods where he feels depressed. And he told me when he was around 17 it got so bad that he attempted suicide and was hospitalized but went to counseling and has put that behind him. However, we had another discussion where he told me he was dating someone for about 6 months or so a few months prior to meeting me and apparently she deceived him in some kind of way which prompted them to break up and because of the feeling of being rejected and deceived by her he attempted suicide a second time.He had another stay in the hospital and then some more counseling and again he said he put that behind him. We discussed all of this and I tried to get him to talk about his feelings which he did to a certain point but I know there is a whole lot more underneath the surface.

I told him the best thing he needs to do is seek counseling and stuck with it until he has figured out what sets off these moods of depressed. And I told him he needs to get help with dealing with and understanding his feelings and emotions. He agrees with me one hundred percent but hes very hesitant about going back to counseling for some reason. I offered to go with him and tried to reassure him that I would be with him every step of the way for as long as I can, you know for moral support since I know there really isnt anything else I can do…

But, my question is… honestly can I do that? Is this way too much too soon in our relationship? I mean everyone has baggage of some kind… but multiple attempts at suicide and unresolved issues from childhood… like can we really make it together? I love being with him and he’s so good to me, my family and friends all love him and like I said outside of his moodiness, we dont have any problems between us. We see each other almost every day but honestly Im a little nervous about what the future may bring. I know things are good now but what happens if we do have a major fight?

We’ve discussed marriage and children and not like right now but maybe within the next 2 years or so all depending on how life deals the cards out. Hes 31 and Im 27… please tell me if I am crazy for even wanting to continue this relationship. Thank you
Okay we’ve discussed marriage and children before I know about all this other stuff

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My parents both who are working people and have never raised me or my siblings (our grandparents raised us while they worked). They both are negative people who have anger issues and shouldn’t have been parents in the first place. They make me feel guilty for being a SAHM. They think that mothers who stay home and take care of their children don’t "work" and it’s not a "job". Well I seldom ask them to babysit for me unless I am "sick" and need a helping hand and when I do ask for a little help my mother complains about it. Otherwise, I do everything myself.
My grandparents never complained about raising me and my siblings. That’s why I am closer to them than my own parents.

Any advice?
I have already explained and demonstrated my job and they think it’s easy but when they do it, they complain (maybe because it’s hard and they don’t want to admit it.) Unfortunately, no one will understand how much energy a SAHM does unless they’ve been in our shoes.

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So what could be wrong with me?
So the story starts with me being about 3 years old who lived with her parents until it was about time for me to be part of the school system. Since my parents lived where the school system Was’t so good they decided that I had to live with my aunt. So I lived with my aunt for 7 years. In those 7 years I barely got to see my parents. I got to talk them every once a while. So I didn’t really have a parent-child relationship. Then when I was around 10 my parents had to migrate to the states along with me. So now I am “reunited” with my parents. Apart from the fact they were too busy working all the time barely had any time for me. So I started feeling really lonely and depressed but since we lived with my grandparents I still managed to keep it covered but then one day we obviously moved out. When we moved out I started feeling even lonelier because when I got home school there was no one to talk to. There were days where I barely saw my parents because by the time they got home I was already asleep. Then all the sudden I started asking questions about identity. That was the time I needed my mom the most obviously she was never there. By this time I was in 8th grade and I found the comfort of having a mom in my counselor. My counselor meant everything to me. She was basically like my mom. She was always there for me even outside of school. Obviously not having a mom I got really attached to this counselor. I was very emotionally attached to her. She used to work at the high school. Everyone (administrators) at high school found out about this “relationship” and I was no longer allowed to be in contact with her. So then it took me till my junior year to get over this. The summer between my junior year and my senior year I met someone through online who became my “mom”. I would try to talk to her every single day. I would tell her everything that happened in the day. And at times we managed to have “heart to heart” conversations. But then I was kinda of getting little jealous when she would talk about her daughter. Then one day I started getting this vibe that I was bothering her so I stopped talking to her as well as her daughter. I deleted her off my facebook I stopped calling her I stopped texting her and everything. Then after that I met someone else at my work that was too young to my mom so she ended being my “big sister.” Now I feel like I am already bothering her. Like she is ALWAYS there for me. But then I feel like I bother her when I try to talk to her every day. Or at least on the days we are at work. I text her every now and then sometimes she replies saying a single word like lol or something but then when I don’t reply her she is like how come you never text me back. And that’s because I get mad when she doesn’t pick up her phone so that’s like my “revenge”. So that is the story of my life now the question is that I don’t know why but I feel like I get emotionally attached to people really easily and really fast especially if they are really nice to me. I hate this feeling especially when for some reason I am parted from them. I don’t know what to do. Like sometimes I just wish when I am crying that someone would come and give me a HUGE hug and tell me everything’s gonna be alright but obviously I don’t really have anyone who does that.

By the way I am 18, single and kinda some what happy

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So the story starts with me being about 3 years old who lived with her parents until it was about time for me to be part of the school system. Since my parents lived where the school system Was’t so good they decided that I had to live with my aunt. So I lived with my aunt for 7 years. In those 7 years I barely got to see my parents. I got to talk them every once a while. So I didn’t really have a parent-child relationship. Then when I was around 10 my parents had to migrate to the states along with me. So now I am “reunited” with my parents. Apart from the fact they were too busy working all the time barely had any time for me. So I started feeling really lonely and depressed but since we lived with my grandparents I still managed to keep it covered but then one day we obviously moved out. When we moved out I started feeling even lonelier because when I got home school there was no one to talk to. There were days where I barely saw my parents because by the time they got home I was already asleep. Then all the sudden I started asking questions about identity. That was the time I needed my mom the most obviously she was never there. By this time I was in 8th grade and I found the comfort of having a mom in my counselor. My counselor meant everything to me. She was basically like my mom. She was always there for me even outside of school. Obviously not having a mom I got really attached to this counselor. I was very emotionally attached to her. She used to work at the high school. Everyone (administrators) at high school found out about this “relationship” and I was no longer allowed to be in contact with her. So then it took me till my junior year to get over this. The summer between my junior year and my senior year I met someone through online who became my “mom”. I would try to talk to her every single day. I would tell her everything that happened in the day. And at times we managed to have “heart to heart” conversations. But then I was kinda of getting little jealous when she would talk about her daughter. Then one day I started getting this vibe that I was bothering her so I stopped talking to her as well as her daughter. I deleted her off my facebook I stopped calling her I stopped texting her and everything. Then after that I met someone else at my work that was too young to my mom so she ended being my “big sister.” Now I feel like I am already bothering her. Like she is ALWAYS there for me. But then I feel like I bother her when I try to talk to her every day. Or at least on the days we are at work. I text her every now and then sometimes she replies saying a single word like lol or something but then when I don’t reply her she is like how come you never text me back. And that’s because I get mad when she doesn’t pick up her phone so that’s like my “revenge”. So that is the story of my life now the question is that I don’t know why but I feel like I get emotionally attached to people really easily and really fast especially if they are really nice to me. I hate this feeling especially when for some reason I am parted from them. I don’t know what to do. Like sometimes I just wish when I am crying that someone would come and give me a HUGE hug and tell me everything’s gonna be alright but obviously I don’t really have anyone who does that.

By the way I am 18, single and kinda some what happy

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So what could be wrong with me?
So the story starts with me being about 3 years old who lived with her parents until it was about time for me to be part of the school system. Since my parents lived where the school system Was’t so good they decided that I had to live with my aunt. So I lived with my aunt for 7 years. In those 7 years I barely got to see my parents. I got to talk them every once a while. So I didn’t really have a parent-child relationship. Then when I was around 10 my parents had to migrate to the states along with me. So now I am “reunited” with my parents. Apart from the fact they were too busy working all the time barely had any time for me. So I started feeling really lonely and depressed but since we lived with my grandparents I still managed to keep it covered but then one day we obviously moved out. When we moved out I started feeling even lonelier because when I got home school there was no one to talk to. There were days where I barely saw my parents because by the time they got home I was already asleep. Then all the sudden I started asking questions about identity. That was the time I needed my mom the most obviously she was never there. By this time I was in 8th grade and I found the comfort of having a mom in my counselor. My counselor meant everything to me. She was basically like my mom. She was always there for me even outside of school. Obviously not having a mom I got really attached to this counselor. I was very emotionally attached to her. She used to work at the high school. Everyone (administrators) at high school found out about this “relationship” and I was no longer allowed to be in contact with her. So then it took me till my junior year to get over this. The summer between my junior year and my senior year I met someone through online who became my “mom”. I would try to talk to her every single day. I would tell her everything that happened in the day. And at times we managed to have “heart to heart” conversations. But then I was kinda of getting little jealous when she would talk about her daughter. Then one day I started getting this vibe that I was bothering her so I stopped talking to her as well as her daughter. I deleted her off my facebook I stopped calling her I stopped texting her and everything. Then after that I met someone else at my work that was too young to my mom so she ended being my “big sister.” Now I feel like I am already bothering her. Like she is ALWAYS there for me. But then I feel like I bother her when I try to talk to her every day. Or at least on the days we are at work. I text her every now and then sometimes she replies saying a single word like lol or something but then when I don’t reply her she is like how come you never text me back. And that’s because I get mad when she doesn’t pick up her phone so that’s like my “revenge”. So that is the story of my life now the question is that I don’t know why but I feel like I get emotionally attached to people really easily and really fast especially if they are really nice to me. I hate this feeling especially when for some reason I am parted from them. I don’t know what to do. Like sometimes I just wish when I am crying that someone would come and give me a HUGE hug and tell me everything’s gonna be alright but obviously I don’t really have anyone who does that.

By the way I am 18, single and kinda some what happy

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When I was a child I was verbally abused, when my parents split up when I was 4 the situation got worse, until at 14 the abusive parent moved out of state. After several years away from them I had a chance to see what more normal parent/child relationships looked like, and the memories of abuse faded.

When I was 21 that parent moved back into my state, and as I was moving to go to a nearby university I decided to try to reconnect, because despite the abuse I love both my parents and wanted a chance to repair 7 years of missing them. Time has not made the abuse stop and the situation with them has only deteriorated. Most of there own friends, coworkers, etc. avoid them these days, and so the depression and outbursts have increased, and the downward spiral continues.

I have in growing older noticed that my grandparents on this persons side have abusive tendencies too. While the other parent is not perfect, and can show, however only vary rarely some of the same signs. I worry about the first parent mentioned more, as they are almost totally unable to function in society. This person lashes out at the people closest to them, and anyone who tries to help them repair their life.

I am considering breaking off the relationship completely. I want to know if there is any way of helping them (they refuse to admit fault in almost everything) and I am trying to make sure that I do not perpetuate the cycle of abuse myself.

Is there anywhere anyone knows of that may answer some of my questions, or offer support for this issue?
To clarify: This abuse is not just I was a bratty child and got punished.
Situations like:

Starting when i was 8 they would scream, cry hysterically, call the other parent all sorts of nasty things and say I was just like them, and I was against her.

Not allowing me to visit school friends, or leave the house even at 12, 13 years old.

Putting me, and my interests down on a daily basis.

Constant crying, lashing out, and emanating a vibe of anxiety that caused me to sweat constantly, gave me an ulser & lead to me cutting myself and attempting suicide at 12 because at the time I felt I need to punish myself for not being able to help her.

Borrowing money, promising to pay it back, not paying it back & when confronted about it starts a fight about how I am their daughter and ‘how dare I disrespect them’

Hitting me because they were packing and had misplaced an article of clothing.

Threatening to harm me or them self if I ever told anyone about how she treated me…
Also: I NEVER did anything that violated any rules until after I had moved out on my own, I will admit, when I was 18-19 I did drink a few times underage… but that is irrelevant.

I was a decent student, never got into drugs, stealing, alcohol, etc. and outside of a brief period right before they moved when I lied a few times I literally did nothing I was ever told not to. I was too damn scared to cross them.

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I have read through many questions and still I have a few of my own. I am a mother of 5 young children. The oldest being 5. I am Wiccan, my fiance is Atheist. We live on the same street as his family who are all Christian. I want to teach my children varies religions and in time let them choose their own path. Most posts I have read say that Wiccan or Pagan parents do not push their beliefs on their children but just give them the basic guidelines: be respectful to others and nature, recycle… but what about holidays? Do you celebrate Yule and/or Christmas in your house? Wouldn’t that be a form of "pushing" your beliefs if you celebrate Yule, Samhain or any other religious holiday with our children?

What about at school? Most schools let off for Christian holidays. Can I request excused absentance for Wiccan holidays?

And at what age is best to start teaching them different religions? My oldest went to her grandparents for a weekend and they brought her to a kids sunday school and spent the weekend teaching her about God (her grandparents are very antipagan). My daughter now talks about Jesus all the time. I do not mind helping her learn if she chooses to, but she gets confused when I tell her people do not have the same beliefs. How best to explain this to a 5 year old?
First thank you to everyone who has shared your views. As far as the grandparent issue, I did discuss it with them and she has not gone on any more weekends (atleast until I can have their trust to be open.) When it comes to Samhain/Halloween I tell them it is a time to remember the dead. As far as Yule/Christmas I tell them it is to celebrate winter, same with Easter celebrating Spring. I tell my kids that some people believe in one god while others believe in more and some believe in none. I do not pray in front of my children, and I do not do rituals in front of them. I save that for a spot in the woods where the kids can not go. But what about holidays even Thanksgiving when we go to a family’s house and everyone prays before eating. I let my kids stay out a little longer to play while others may pray. Is that appropriate?

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