I grew up in foster care because my mom abandoned me and my dad molested me so I don’t know much about parent/child relationships. I have an 11 month old daughter with my boyfriend of 4 years. We had our own apartment but then things happened and long story short we ended up back in his dad’s house for the time being.

I’m beginning to notice that his dad is trying to be a ‘father’ to our child. He buys her lots of toys, he makes decisions on what her room will look like – long story short he tries to take over my boyfriend’s role as father. The thing is, my boyfriend DOESN’T CARE! It doesn’t matter what his dad says or does my boyfriend goes along with it. Heres some examples:

His dad tells me I’m a deabeat mom and tells me I don’t love or care about her. I am 100% mom I am home with her all day I feed bathe change and do everything for and with her. His dad even threatened to call CPS on me even though I did nothing wrong – he DOESN’T CARE and says nothing.

I had suspicions about his dad because he babysat our daughter overnight once (when we weren’t living here) we brought a big stack of diapers and they suspicious;y disappeared overnight. He did not question his dad.

His dad yells at me in front of him and makes me feel like crap and when I walk away and go cry he sits next to his dad and ignores me too and doesn’t stand up for me.

Is this normal father/son relationship? Some background on them – my boyfriend didn’t graduate high school because he didn’t "want" to and his dad agreed with him. They have been smoking weed together since my boyfriend was 12.His dad has been diagnosed with manic depression and OCD.
Dork – I don’t have an "Iphone" my shirts cost 5 dollars at most and I only have a few of them, I don’t "do drugs", all my money and effort is directed towards my daughter so you really need to mind your own business and quit judging.

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What was your relationship with your mother like, growing up? And how about your father?

I just want to see if there’s any correlation between parent-child relationships and orientation. I know there’s no psychological evidence to support how one’s orientation was formed(and there IS biological evidence!) but there’s no harm in asking questions, right? =)

-I was always very close to my mother; practically raised only by her. My father was not present a lot when I was a child, and our relationship now is rocky…

-My mom was always ‘tough’, strong, and into a lot of sports, quite the tomboy. Similarly, I love wrestling, boxing, and other "boy" things.

-I have been attracted to men and women in the past, but for the past 3 years I’ve been exclusively attracted to women…older women(40s) in particular.
I am 21 btw.

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I’m going to be baptized in a few months, and I understand the concept that all sin is washed away, but what I’m having trouble with understanding is how a sin like not honoring a parent would be washed away if the relationship has been broken and dead for most of my life, and the person being baptized (me) has no intention of attempting to repair that relationship before my baptism or after.

I don’t understand how that sin could be washed away when it’s an ongoing breaking of the 4th commandment.

And please don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not some bratty teen-gone -adult who’s "mad at my mom" and should just "make up", it’s a complicated situation that is unparalleled to most broken parent-child relationships. I wasn’t raised by this person, I don’t know this person, and the times I have tried to know this person, it was pretty ugly, so the last thing I want is anything to do with this person.

Is the 4th commandment an absolute? Or are there situations where God would understand why it’s necessary for some people to not honor a parent? And if it is an absolute, how can this sin possibly be washed away by baptism?

Thanks.

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For our exam, we have to write a well-supported essay in response to one of the following questions. We don’t know which one the teacher is going to pick, so I want to gather a good amount of facts for each.

1. In the novel, TKAMB, Atticus teaches his children that they need to walk in someone else’s shoes before judging that person. Focus on specific events in the novel when Atticus, Scout or Jem are forced to walk in someone else’s shoes and how this changes their perceptions about characters and events.

2. …Atticus Finch has a very strong relationship with his children. Discuss Atticus’s role as a parent as well as two other parent-child relationships in the novel. Support your observations with proof from the text.

3. …the theme of loss of innocence is a predominant one. Focus on three specific events from the novel that illustrate this important theme.

4. …Atticus tells his children that it is a "sin to kill a mockingbird" because they don’t do any harm. Focus on three characters in the novel who represent mockingbirds. Use specific examples from the text to support your choices.

Could you help me gather good facts/points to pass the exam with flying colours?

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I have to write a research paper about parent-child relationships within king lear and pride and prejudice. It will cover topics like social class, gender, effects of children on parents and vice versa, etc… while keeping an open mind about the ways of the past. Does anybody know of any credible sources( college-friendly) that i can use. I am especially having a hard time finding sources (An official literary website; a critical analysis of the work; an in-depth character, theme, or situation examination.) for pride and prejudice.
Thank you

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Here’s my confession: I look at porn, a lot of it and not just one kind either. I look at many, many kinds including incest because I believe that my relationship w/ my parents is so messed up that I get pleasure from an idea of how to be closer to them even if others consider it sick. Before you talk about how sick it is, imagine one of the most horrible parent/child relationships you can think of that includes all kinds of abuse and yet, the child is still holding on by a thread for some sort of good relationship. That’s pretty much my situation. You see, I’m twenty but I was emotionally abandoned during their divorce when I was three and it’s always hurt me. There are many complicated issues between them that affected me, so many that I couldn’t get into it all now but basically, I just wanted to give some background. Here’s my confession: I want to get rid of all evidence of it on my computer since I may have to have a friend fix it and I don’t want her to see it. I can’t afford to have it fixed at a store so she’s offered to fix it in her free time since she is a computer wizard who works at one of those stores. How do I erase all evidence, enough that the computer wizard doesn’t see it? I’d like to erase just about everything so it’s almost like this computer is brand new, so it looks like almost nobody has been on it (on the internet) yet. Thank you for all your help and remember, in this day and age, a child who wants any kind of a relationship w/ her parents is certainly not as sick as a lot of other things going on in the world.
I use both firefox and IE so I need help figuring out how to get rid of everything from both.

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what are the implications in the novel about parent-child relationships ?

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When I was a child I was verbally abused, when my parents split up when I was 4 the situation got worse, until at 14 the abusive parent moved out of state. After several years away from them I had a chance to see what more normal parent/child relationships looked like, and the memories of abuse faded.

When I was 21 that parent moved back into my state, and as I was moving to go to a nearby university I decided to try to reconnect, because despite the abuse I love both my parents and wanted a chance to repair 7 years of missing them. Time has not made the abuse stop and the situation with them has only deteriorated. Most of there own friends, coworkers, etc. avoid them these days, and so the depression and outbursts have increased, and the downward spiral continues.

I have in growing older noticed that my grandparents on this persons side have abusive tendencies too. While the other parent is not perfect, and can show, however only vary rarely some of the same signs. I worry about the first parent mentioned more, as they are almost totally unable to function in society. This person lashes out at the people closest to them, and anyone who tries to help them repair their life.

I am considering breaking off the relationship completely. I want to know if there is any way of helping them (they refuse to admit fault in almost everything) and I am trying to make sure that I do not perpetuate the cycle of abuse myself.

Is there anywhere anyone knows of that may answer some of my questions, or offer support for this issue?
To clarify: This abuse is not just I was a bratty child and got punished.
Situations like:

Starting when i was 8 they would scream, cry hysterically, call the other parent all sorts of nasty things and say I was just like them, and I was against her.

Not allowing me to visit school friends, or leave the house even at 12, 13 years old.

Putting me, and my interests down on a daily basis.

Constant crying, lashing out, and emanating a vibe of anxiety that caused me to sweat constantly, gave me an ulser & lead to me cutting myself and attempting suicide at 12 because at the time I felt I need to punish myself for not being able to help her.

Borrowing money, promising to pay it back, not paying it back & when confronted about it starts a fight about how I am their daughter and ‘how dare I disrespect them’

Hitting me because they were packing and had misplaced an article of clothing.

Threatening to harm me or them self if I ever told anyone about how she treated me…
Also: I NEVER did anything that violated any rules until after I had moved out on my own, I will admit, when I was 18-19 I did drink a few times underage… but that is irrelevant.

I was a decent student, never got into drugs, stealing, alcohol, etc. and outside of a brief period right before they moved when I lied a few times I literally did nothing I was ever told not to. I was too damn scared to cross them.

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is in complete violation of civil and constitutional rights and why it is allowed?

even though i am at complete peace with the system im really curious to know if anybody has a real answer to this question. it just seems odd to me that there is nothing being done to stop GOOD-DECENT non custodial parents from actually going "dead beat".

examples of violations:

-Denial of Fifth and Fourteenth Amendment Rights to Due Process of Law –
These include: denial of the right to free counsel for poor defendants, denial of the right to take depositions, lack of evident hearings, lack of notice, and improper standard of proof – with defendants being presumed guilty and being sentenced, like criminals, to loss of the fundamental constitutional right to be a parent.

-Denial of the Seventh Amendment Right to Trial by Jury –
Heartless, treasonous judges make decisions to sever loving parent/child relationships which no jury would allow. there is no way 1 single person should be able to decide the fate of a family. what if hes having a bad day. i dont trust a complete stranger with the fate of my family. do you?

Denial of Fourteenth Amendment Right to Equal Protection of the Laws –
Mothers initiate most divorces and are "awarded" sole custody in the vast majority of contested cases even though both parents are equally fit and loving parents, resulting in state sanctioned gender discrimination and child abuse by the state (taking half of the child’s world away).

why is this allowed?

Non-custodial parents are often forced to give up the relationship with their child(ren) out of incapacity to afford it, or inability to compete with the parenting time and assets "awarded" to the custodial parent, on an uneven playing field. This poverty is often interpreted by children as indifference, negligence, or lack of love, especially when custodial parents work to further alienate children from the non-custodial parent.
????
another example:
The Fourteenth Amendment Liberty Interest in the Family.
yet that single judge has the right to deny that right. whether its temporary or not… there are some scars that time does/will/can not heal.

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Relationships Form Personalities

In the novel Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe, relationships with parents shape the characters personalities and behaviors. During the story, many parent child relationships are discussed. One of the relationships is the relationship between Okonkwo and Unoka, Okonkwo’s father. There is also the relationship between Ezinma and her mother. Also, the novel talks about another relationship, the one between Okonkwo and Ezinma. These relationships are described throughout the novel and so is how they shape the characters.

First, Okonkwo and his father, Unoka’s relationship is described. This relationship is especially unique because it helps the reader understand Okonkwo’s background and why he is the way he is during the novel. "When Unoka died he had taken no title at all and was heavily in debt." (Achebe Okonkwo’s personality is affected by this because throughout the novel he tries really hard to be better than his father. In their culture, if you did not make a name for yourself, then you were considered a failure and would have to take the name that means “man who has taken no title”. "Okonkwo was ashamed of his father." (Achebe This was because his father had not made a name for himself. Okonkwo’s personality and behavior is affected by this relationship throughout the novel.

Second, Ezinma and he mother, Ekwefi’s relationship is described. This particular relationship is special because they have the relationship of close friends and it’s usually uncommon to be friends with a parent. "Ezinma, unlike most children, called her mother by her first name." (Achebe 40) Calling a parent by their first name shows that they are more like friends than mother and daughter. This teaches Ezinma to be trusting of others throughout the novel. So, this goes to say that relationships between parents and children do in fact shape the children.
Third, Okonkwo and his daughter, Ezinma’s relationship is described. In Okonkwo’s mind he thought “If only she had been a boy.” (Achebe) This shows that Okonkwo wants Ezinma to be a boy really badly. So, she almost acts as if she were a boy. She then is a strong hearted person. Also, being treated like a boy has taught her to be more respectful. It is in this way that her personality and behavior has been shaped by her relationship with Okonkwo, her father.

The novel Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe discusses many relationships and they all point to the conclusion that the relationships children share with their parents shapes them as people. In the parts about Okonkwo and Ezinma, the novel shows how she reacts to Okonkwo which is a perfect example of relationships impacting the characters. And, same with the other relationships. Mostly, the impacts are shown throughout the novel by describing the character’s behaviors. All of the relationships in this novel impact each character in a different way. But, in the end, they all show that children’s relationships with their parents impact their behaviors and personalities.

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